“Show me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are”... I remember hearing that line from a few movies that I have watched. I think one of them was Mean Girls (don’t judge me lol) but I can’t quite remember the other films I had heard it from. Never mind though, I am sure it will come back to me at some point. The people we call our ‘friends’, believe it or not have a way of shaping our lives – for better or for worse. I know it sounds a bit extreme putting it like that, but when you really think about it, it’s true to an extent. If we hang around the same type of people long enough eventually we start to be like them, behave like them and probably even start talking like them. As I said that could be a good thing if they motivate you and are genuinely good people. This is good, because it’s always a nice feeling knowing you have friends who have your best interest at heart and want to see you do well in life. Yeah this may sound so cliché, but there’s some truth in it right? This year so far has been a roller coaster for me, the death of my father – earlier on in the year – really hit me hard, but it was the company of my friends that helped me manage the pain.
Being amongst friends really helped take my mind off things and just numb the pain. The pain never goes away you just learn to manage it I guess. But my friends did make realise and reassured me that I had their support, they were very understanding. I appreciated this a lot because it was a difficult time for me yet they tried their best to be there for me, no matter how difficult it may have been. When you go through tough times in life it’s your friends – and family of course! – that get you through the hardship, in those times more than ever you just learn to value them even more. Do we always have to go through tough times to realise that we have great friends? No we don’t, we can also learn to appreciate our friends in times where we don’t have a care in the world or aren’t stressed with the dramas of life. The littlest of things can generally make you truly appreciate your friends. Anything from playing Fifa 14 to sitting on the settee and having endless banter amongst ourselves about the hilariously funny performances on X-Factor, are enough to make me truly realise that I have great friends. Reason being; you can’t just have a few jokes and relax with anyone, the people you do that with are the people you respect and trust.
TRUST is very important and it is one of the many things that build strong friendships and easily break them too. Your ‘circle of friends’ are generally the people that are there for you,help you in times of struggle and help you regain your positive spark when lost. We as individuals also need to help our friends during their times of struggle and hardship. Friends are like DIAMONDS and GOLD, their precious, rare and (most times) hard to come by. I’m sounding cliché again aren’t I? Well I am sorry, I cant help it!, it’s the only analogy that I feel best describes the fundamentals of friendship. So be it! you going to have to just take my word for it. So if you know you have your DIAMONDS and GOLD, then great! I am genuinely pleased for you because it’s always a nice – great in fact! – feeling knowing that there are people you can put your complete trust in. If you don’t, this is also great! As you now have the opportunity to really evaluate who you call your ‘friends’.
You may be fond of these so called ‘friends’, may get along and sometimes generally have similar interests. In the grand scheme of things having ‘friends’ that you have a laugh with, is meaningless if they aren’t elevating, pushing or supporting you to be the best version of yourself. If you feel like that it’s okay! You just need to remember that there is nothing wrong with ‘cutting people off’, who do nothing for you. Yeah they may be upset, angry and grow some resentment towards you. At the end of the day that’s fine – and part of life. You cant be friends with everybody because not everyone is going to genuinely care about your goals or well-being enough to be deemed as a ‘true friend’. I can honestly say that I can count the amount of true friends that I have in my life on each finger on both hands. In my 23 years of life I have realised when it comes to friendships it’s always about quality and not quantity. It can be hard removing the people who you regard as clutter out of your life – I have done it myself over the years, but at times it is something that just has to be done.
As Greek Philosopher, Aristotle beautifully put it: “A friend to all is a friend to none”.
In my opinion that has to be one of the most self-explanatory and elegant quotes I have ever read. Today take a moment and just reflect and ask yourself these things when evaluating your ‘friends’:
What type of company do I keep?
Do they empower me?
Do they Support me?
Do they make me feel mentally enriched?
I have always been meditating on these questions and truly try to apply to my life and my friendships. It most certainly has worked because I don’t even think I would be writing this post with such optimism if it weren’t for my friends constantly believing in me and encouraging me to be the champion that I am … LOL what can I say I guess I just love myself too much (I’m just joking but I am sure you catch my drift)
When your done thinking about these questions and you say to yourself: “Yes they do!”, then continue to cherish and hold on to those DIAMONDS and GOLD you class as friends. If you answer is “No”, then take that step and choose to surround yourself with people who are going to help and make you become that wonderful person you were destined to be.