The way to get through life is to count your blessings but there are times when you feel that there aren’t any to count. There are moments when you feel like your life is useless and you haven’t achieved anything that makes your life all a bit more meaningful. Have you ever felt like this? Well I know this has certainly been the case for me far too many times. There are days when I feel like I have nothing to be thankful or blessed about. Where is the blessing in losing loved ones? That’s right! There is no blessing in that-none whatsoever. Having these negative thoughts made me so bitter and pessimistic; to the point where I actually started believing there was no hope left. “This isn’t the way to move forward”, I kept saying to myself once I came to the realisation that my emotions were getting the best of me. There is no way I can be negative and happy at the same time it’s one or the other, but certainly not both.
Granted, losing my parents was a painful and still is, however the experience was also a humbling experience. Their deaths changed my whole outlook on life; allowing me to truly realise what’s important: my friends, family, and my mental health. I have a tendency at times to ignore what’s going on in my head and keep telling myself that ‘I’m fine’. In actual truth I’m far from fine, I have my moments of sadness but I try not to let them consume me to the point they disturb my positive energy. Being positive isn’t about crying less or a guarantee there won’t be bad days, it’s more of a choice (emphasis on the word choice) to purposely grow through the cracks despite the hardship. I have personally made the choice to grow through my pain and be positive no matter how hard it is (and it will definitely be hard).
I see positivity as choice between fighting or flying. Both are a matter of acknowledging your negative emotions that has you torn on the inside. When you choose to fly, you’re letting these feelings of pain and endless sadness consume you to the point where you don’t even attempt to address them. What you’re essentially doing is letting these feelings ‘fly away’, instead of fighting the good fight. Choosing to fight is simply about confronting these emotions and controlling them rather than letting them control you. It’s an active choice to find ways to positively overcome these negative thoughts.This is all easier said than done, because I’ve been through times where I’ve let my emotions ‘fly away’ or get the better of me. The feeling of defeat and loneliness led me to think life was no longer worth living. I felt like a massive failure, I didn’t want to push through the cracks (hardship) or even be positive as I didn’t see the point. The pain felt so deep that I didn’t see any way of overcoming it. In these moments I felt like giving up on everything.
It isn’t always easy to fight and combat negative emotions but a part of me knew that fighting them (mentally) was the right thing to do. I’m trying to live positively and choose to not live in a perpetual state of mourning. I want to grow through the pain,the sadness, and the hardship.I can’t change or erase my experiences as much as they have affected me, but I choose to live implicitly without fear.
When you think about the concept of Time, what springs to mind? Some might say that it’s precious, equivalent to money, the list goes on. We all perceive time in different ways, but most of us can agree that it is precious. What we choose to focus our time on is extremely important as it can arguably affect our lives whether it’s good or bad
As noted earlier many will agree that our time is precious and how we use it is equally important. Have you ever had a moment where you buy something and afterwards you think to yourself; “Why did I waste my money on that”. We as individuals should have a similar attitude towards ‘Time’ . Your time is your time and it shouldn’t be wasted on anyone or anything that doesn’t benefit you. The last things you want to be saying to yourself is “I wish I had never …” or “If only I…” . Living with regret can be so painful and annoying at times because in hindsight you realise what you should have done and even how to do it, but sadly you will never get the chance to because you are unable to go back in time.
In that eventuality you may not be able to go back in time, but you can make a decision to start using your time in a way that will ensure you never have to be faced with such regrets ever again. ” Just as money should be spent wisely, so should ‘Time’ “ , spend your time on things that uplift and make you happy. If you feel that you are currently in a position where you aren’t using your time effectively, you don’t have to be so hard on yourself. Don’t go through life thinking that there is some sort of manual you have to follow, or a set date where you have to do things by. Never feel that time is running out (although it will run out eventually), but there is always time to change the course of your life and pursue happiness.
As I said feeling regret is normal, and yes it can be annoying, but the most important thing about regrets is that we can use it to control how we move forward from situations. Constantly worrying about what you should have done better in a situation is not going to help you tackle it. The only thing that will help you through it is what you are going to do better next time, in the event that it occurs again. Choose to spend your time in ways that benefits your life and on things that your future self will thank you for later on in your life. You may not be able to go back in time but you can always look ahead and take control of your time to fulfill your happiness. As the saying goes: “There is no point crying over spilt milk”, so spend less time worrying about your shortcomings and look ahead and think of all the possible ways you can live a great life with the time you have.
At times do you ever feel that you’re carrying the world on your shoulders? You want to achieve your set goals so badly, please your family, friends, prove doubters wrong, but then you realise that you’re placing too much pressure on yourself. Admittedly, this has been the case for me. I have had many days where I have felt so exhausted because I am worrying too much, trying to please family, friends and make them proud of me, just so they don’t think I’m a failure. But then I asked myself: “Why am I stressing myself like this?”, I could never really understand why, but I just felt like I needed to… “It’s All or Nothing”… “Failure is not an Option”, those were the only justifiable answers I kept saying to myself over and over again in my head. Even so, failure should never be an option, but then I realised that I cant keep using that as an excuse to stress myself out and worry excessively.
It’s very easy to give yourself a million reasons as to why you need to achieve your desired goal, which is good as it can motivate you, but it can also be an hindrance, because you have giving yourself so much reasons why you need to succeed to the point where you feel that failure can never happen. Well it can happen and it isn’t a bad thing, in some respects failure is needed for personal growth. So don’t be so hard on yourself,realise that there are going to be setbacks along the way and understand that it’s part of your journey. Most of all don’t feel you have to please everyone. Your Journey should only fulfill you, making sure others are happy along the way shouldn’t be a prerequisite, friends and family will support you regardless.
Learn to trust your journey and continue to work hard to achieve your goals and aspirations, nothing comes easy in this life, but having persistence and dedication will always make your journey worthwhile. You can never be a failure for trying, it just simply means that you’re working hard to achieve what you set out to do. Do not worry or stress just keep working hard and have faith in your abilities. Yes!, it’s easier said than done but when you really think about it worrying never does you any favours.
When you fight for your dreams, secondary voices in your head are gone.